Being Single

Someone shoved this below article up my ass earlier today, I couldn't help it but to agree, not wholly, but rather, amusingly mostly..

Do you find yourself too comfortable being single, so much so that the thought of being in a relationship scares you? Let me shed some light on what I think..

Truth be told, ever since my last relationship broke apart almost a year ago, I have not recovered fully.. Perhaps, there's this thing they say, when you loved someone with all you have the way only you know how (and despite not being understood by everyone), it is when you know it was for real..

Till today, I feel I am still a wreck somehow - I am not emotionally ready for a relationship.. I am not capable of committing myself into one, not in the near future at least.. There is still something in me that tells me not to get involved, and I trust my gut feelings very much - I shouldn't get involved, knowing that I will hurt the person more than anything.. It will be very unfair to everyone else if I just jump into one without considering the many repercussions of my actions.. I know what I am saying..

Having said that, I know what you guys are thinking - NO..it's not for the (availability of) freedom of sleeping around.. I am not ashamed to say that I have not had sex in a very long time (saved for that one time in Sydney).. No, shower encounters and quickies do not count..

But being single allows me to be with peace with myself and find happiness within and in things that makes me happy - like friends and travel..

While I do yearn for some intimate moments and for someone to hold me in his arms and hug me, it has to come from someone I truly want to be with with all my heart completely - and not because of convenience, desperation for company sake, hunger for bodily contact etc..

It's big words here, but I know what I feel..

People say, you won't know what you're missing if you don't give it a try.. I say "Bitch please, if spending my last 15 years and my youth in 5 relationships have not taught me anything, I might be as well dead!"

I am 32 now and I am not young anymore.. Playing around, sleeping around, fooling around is not something I can identify with anymore.. It's all or nothing.. I can't afford to spend more years in relationships that will only end in all brutality to the heart, it's not something I can handle..

I rather be off being single than to have two persons getting their hearts hurt.. That is not what I want..



15 Signs You're Too Comfortable Being Single
http://thoughtcatalog.com/lux-ganzon/2014/08/15-signs-youre-comfortable-being-single/

1. You don’t mind staying in on a beautiful weekend. You don’t call random people to hang out on a sunny Saturday. You’d rather catch up on your reading or watch your favorite re-runs.
I have downloaded plenty of movies to keep myself occupied.. There's so many movies I've missed because I was so busy with somebody's else's lives, that I didn't have time for myself.. 

2. You are sincerely happy for your friends’ milestones; engagements, weddings and new babies.
With an adorable nephew to play with and watch him grow, friends getting married and having kids who call me "Uncle Eric/Jin" and that I am a great help with the kids while their parents take a breather and let me run after their youngs for a change, and with parents getting older by the day, family and close friends means more to me now..

3. You don’t feel uncomfortable when you go out with other couples.
In fact, I enjoy seeing others being happy.. Because when others are happy, I am happy (for them).. Seriously, I have come to such a stage whereby I can be truly happy for others.. That's different from faking happiness for others - which I can fake quite well too, it's a learnt skill.. 

4. When someone asks about your relationship status, you answer honestly without batting an eye, because you don’t see anything embarrassing about being alone in a couple-filled world.
Being single - happily unattached is my standard reply.. alone is when you learn to love yourself in a way nobody else can.. 

5. You can dine out, watch a movie, or travel all by yourself.
I rather enjoy and CAN eat alone and travel alone.. It opens up my mind and eyes to things that were once unseen.. I also get to find friends without getting the "jealous" feel from the other half.. Admittedly, like it or not, even if you say you're not jealous, deep down, yes, everyone is to a certain extend, jealous or a sense of insecurity when their other half is away with someone else.. But I can never bring myself to watch a movie alone, I've tried but it isn't me.. I can't do it.. 

6. When people think something’s wrong with you because you’re still single, you conclude that there’s something wrong with them.
*blink* *blink* what's wrong with being single again? 

7. Your calendar is always full: vacations, breakfast/lunch/dinner with old friends, movie date with your siblings or friends, seminars and other important activities outside work/school.
Having the time to do the things I have always wanted to do, and now I can, there's no stopping me..

8. You forgot how it is to be dating or to be in a relationship. How many times do you need to send them messages? Which decisions do you need to consult with them? Do they need to know where you’re going for lunch and what you’re having?
*beep* What are you doing.
*beep* Where are you going.
*beep* Who are you with.
*beep* What time will you be home.
*beep* Do you miss me.
*beep* Why no message me. 

*click* roll eyes.

Ignore. 

Come on, it's too suffocating! 
COUPLES: Dare you say you're not guilty? 

9. You ignore the sweet nothings you receive in your inbox or phone because you don’t have time for someone you know is not serious or is not showing “potential” for a partner.
Because it gets overwhelming sometimes.. I am a true-blood Aquarius, I need my space, LOTS OF IT!!! Sometimes that can be misunderstood as bochup (tidak apa/lackadaisical) but that's just me.. I don't need to be in constant touch and I don't want to be in constant touch.. 

I am one CAN put down my phone for a while.. but I like to take pictures with it..  

10. You are genuinely happy with where you are right now.
Yep.
I think....

11. Your plans may involve settling down, but you’re not pressured on doing it any time soon.
That's what I am saying.. I want to settle down, perhaps be married in a legalised civil partnership, one day.. but for now, I am good by myself.. I want a man, mentally and emotionally stable, who can take care of himself and also of me, and us, and to this man worthy to be called a hubby, is worth waiting.. 

12. You hate the idea of asking someone’s permission if you need to buy something or go somewhere. You come and you go as you please.
It has come to that, you know.. That I have develop a phobia on reporting.. 

13. You enjoy your own company that you don’t feel like you’re missing out on something.
What am I missing? 

14. You heart goes out to those who are afraid to be alone and wish they’ll someday see the light and embrace singleness.
Now I see why some single people out there are happier than most who are in relationships (after the honeymoon periods' over)..

15. You’re not bitter about your failed relationships anymore. You are actually grateful that it ended. If it didn’t, you wouldn’t be this happy right now.
It's just that I am glad it ended because otherwise I would not have learn from it, and being a better person myself..

My past has certainly taught me a lot of things, each one about myself more and about the people around me..  




For everyone (single and in relationships), ask yourself: Are you truly happy?

Happy Valentine's Day!