Outburst

I woke up from my sleep this morning crying badly.

I had another bout of those sad dreams again. It goes something like this...

I had an elder brother but he's rarely at home, so much that he's like an outsider. Also I had a younger brother and we are much closer. Every time we ask elder brother to come home to stay or even a visit, he'll just ignore us. 

Elder brother is well built, handsome, and more successful than I am. He's everything I want to be myself.

I don't remember when I last spoke to him. To me, he's like spiderman, always here and there out there but never home. But I know he loves me as I sometimes saw him watching over me quietly from far. 

I yearn for him to come home that I'll sit by the window and wait for him to pass by.

One day, after very long, he finally came home. I misses him so bad that I threw myself on him and cry.

That's when I woke up and found myself crying uncontrollably.

I really hate this kind of dreams. It's driving me crazy as it's been quite regular. 

Yesterday's dream that I can remember was more of a rage and me throwing foul language at a rude old lady and I feel proud and accomplished.