So this is Christmas, and another year have passed.
In a nutshell, to sum up my 2023 - it's pretty much not too bad..
Finances are holding up pretty okay after the turbulent covid years, at least this year I can see money and able to move funds around and invested more into the stock market.. Overall I can say the stock market is pretty bad compared to last year but its largely also the global economy riding on the US interests rates..
Career wise I guess three-quarters of the time I have to deal with stupid people but it's seasonal ups and downs, busy and free period..
Relationship wise, I'm doing pretty good with my boyfriend, we're together about 2 years now, and we spend time talking to each other on a daily basis.. we've gone to places and adventures together, and just spend quality time together..
Friends wise, lost some, and know many.. but I've purged my FB accounts of acquaintances whom I don't connect anymore or have nothing in common, and a bit of stranger-ish... I just want to keep my FB to be strictly friends only.. not gonna be a number collector anymore..
I guess 2023 is pretty okay..
So, merry christmas and happy new year! I shall be back next year!
I have been quite a resourceful kid I must say - having worked part time while in secondary school, at a stationery shop near my home.. It didn't pay a lot but it was enough pocket money back then..
Good ol' logo
My first real job was right after SPM, fresh out of school.. I worked in a pizza restaurant called Schlotzsky's Deli in Ipoh Parade.. That's where I learnt how to make pizza, make drinks, coffee, espresso and latte, learning how to make latte art, waitering and of course dealing with Karens.. I also did cashiering, and lots of cleaning and washing..
I learnt things fast, partly because I enjoy what I was doing, and I also was very interested and curious to know how the world of business works..
That's where I met a good friend of mine, from another school, where we would toil the restaurant before entering university together.. We probably worked there for about half a year I guessed..
The bosses were a husband and wife team.. and the wife would always bring her kids and eat at the restaurant on the house.. She must have treated it like her own kitchen.. But that aside, they were nice good people, friendly and most importantly, respected and treated the staff well..
When I gotten my very first paycheck (yes, it was EPF and SOCSO deductible!), I treated my family for a meal there.. It was a nice feeling to be able to do that..
Sadly the franchise has exited Malaysia long ago, but otherwise, happy memories here..
When we were young, we look forward to our graduation, friends' weddings, their children's baby showers, birthdays and what nots.
As we grow older, something changed.. We start going to more and more funerals.. Over the past years, I've lost people.. Some disappeared without a trace - I really began to wonder if they are still alive, and if so, where are they?
Perhaps it'll do me good to keep the memories alive.. gone too soon but never forgotten..
Tim Scully (23 October 2018)
Some of you will know him from the time he was working in PT Foundation, but for me, I've known Tim since primary school, back in the early 90s.. We went to SRK La Salle in Ipoh, and as fate would have it, the school used to run the Program Adik Angkat, which is literally getting acquainted with your senior/junior and basically help your juniors with schoolwork etc.. I thought that was a very noble idea.. and that's how I've came to have many adik angkat during school years.. Tim was one of them..
I fondly remembered how his mom would often buy me ice-cream after school too..
David Woon Beng Chuan (5 March 2019) aka David The Cunning
I've known David for the longest time, back when blogging was still a thing.. that was before Friendster, Myspace and all those in that era.. We kinda lost touch for a while when he was working in KL while I was elsewhere, but all along those years, it really touched my heart that he kept me close and dear, and even referred to me as his "big brother" to his family whom I've never met, until his funeral..
At his funeral, his mom came up to me and said, "Oh so you are the big brother he always talked about.. "
Seriously, I regretted not being that awesome big brother he would have wanted.. I made it a point to visit his resting place whenever I am in Melaka and can find the time..
This needs no introduction as he spent his life terrorising the friends with his wits and sarcasm.. Up till his last, he was still making jokes.. Perhaps that's how he would want the world to remember him by.. We were together for a brief moment but he was rather playful.. He was the one who coaxed me to switch to Fitness First, to teach BodyCombat in Fitness First and got me all riled up to work in the travel industry.. He was also the one who wrecked damage to my new car, breaking the sports rims and also picked up a fight with an ex-colleague of ours by smashing the car door against hers repeatedly.. Oh the rage this boy has.. Though through the years I have quite forgiven him, just not completely I guessed..
Sometimes, what we want the world to see isn't who we really are..
Agree?
Mirrors have always been a powerful symbol of self-reflection, but for us, they often play a unique and multifaceted role in our personal journey.. Beyond their ordinary function, mirrors become a canvas upon which self-identity, self-acceptance, and self-love are painted.. Sometimes our narcissism takes over too..
Do you remember what a mirror is to you? For us, the journey of self-discovery begins with a long, hard look in the mirror.. It's in that mirror that we start to recognise and accept our true selves.. some more easily than others, some never do, sadly..
The Closeted Reflection: In the early stages, the mirror often reflects a conflicted individual, struggling to reconcile our authentic identity with societal expectations.. It becomes a silent confidant, bearing witness to the hidden truths..
The Moment of Truth: There comes a pivotal moment when the mirror reflects courage, as we confront our true selves.. It's a transformative instant when we shed our own illusions and accept that we like to suck cock..
The Reflection of Acceptance
As acceptance grows, so does the relationship with the mirror.. It transforms into a symbol of self-acceptance, rather than a source of anxiety.. The mirror gradually reflects the confidence that comes with self-acceptance.. It's where we learn to love ourselves and embrace the uniqueness.. Mirrors then become a canvas for self-expression.. It's where we experiment with a lot of things - mind you, most of it quite sexually too - I DARE YOU TO DENY IT HAHAHAH!!!
The Reflection of Resilience
Mirrors also bear witness to the resilience that we develop over time..
Overcoming Stereotypes: Mirrors help us confront and shatter stereotypes imposed by society where we proudly defy conventional definitions of masculinity, embracing our own authentic masculinity, and identify as "out and loud".. this is when we are not afraid of who we are as a gay man..
Facing Discrimination: In the mirror, we see the reflection of those who has faced discrimination and prejudice with unwavering strength. It reminds us of our ability to persevere.. how many times have you been discriminated because of your sexual orientation, from family, friends, colleagues or general society at large?
The Reflection of Pride
In time, mirrors become a symbol of pride and self-love..
The Prideful Reflection: As self-love deepens, the mirror reflects not just physical appearance but also the radiant glow of self-acceptance.. It becomes a source of pride and empowerment..
A Tool for Empowerment: Mirrors are used to amplify visibility and activism.. Some of us gay men like to leverage on our reflections to challenge societal norms and advocate for LGBTQ+ rights.. But I for one, would rather live my life quietly.. In all fairness, I don't mind people knowing, but I really don't want to have it becoming a tool for certain people to politicise and take an extreme view of it, if you know what I mean..
Mirrors are more than just glass and reflections.. For us, they are witnesses to a journey of self-discovery, acceptance, resilience, and pride.. They reflect not only physical appearances but also the profound emotional and spiritual growth that accompanies the quest for authenticity.. As we continue to face the world with courage and self-love, our mirrors remain steadfast companions on our extraordinary journey of self-empowerment and self-expression.. Through the looking glass, we then now discover the truest reflection of ourselves —strong, resilient, and unapologetically proud..
And then the occasionally admiring our own bodies and then jerking ourselves off in front of the mirror..
Most people don't do legs workout in the gym, especially those "big bodybuilders who tend to focus only top half of the body".. while there is nothing wrong, it's just a turn off.. I may admire you for your top half but as I scan your legs, I'll go like ugghhh eeww..
Chicken legs are a turn off, they are a disproportioned to the rest of the body.. But then, why most people don't do legs workout?
When the first MCO was implemented, I was out of job but I've met some interesting personalities that have big dreams, and together we set up 3 companies to build a 一条龙服务, literally translated to "one dragon service" to serve a very niche market, which at the height of pandemic, it was what the market desperately needed..
We worked on for several months without pay to launch the service into the market, we had a fantastic product, a solid sales and marketing plan, but we lack the talent and people to run the show - and that was where we failed..
I can draw up a solid marketing and advertising plan but I am not a salesperson, I am not a smooth suave sweet talker and I don't have the skills of a salesperson.. They say its an idiotproof job, but truth be told, sales is not for everyone - particularly if the product you are selling to is so niche that the only people you speak to are committees, rather than individuals..
What we were proposing was to reduce social contact, automate some processes, reducing manpower (indirectly, creating redundant staff) - at the height of pandemic where social distancing is a must and people are afraid of losing jobs..
We had a wrong strategy..
One of the biggest problem was that the founder spent too much money and time setting up the company when we had zero take ups.. We had a fully equipped co-working office, we had spent days bickering how to draw up the organisation chart, and by that, subsequently led to our failure..
By drawing the organisation chart, we were telling ourselves that it was no longer a team effort and that we need to hire people, and that was a red flag.. Yes, we did hire a few - we paid the salaries and commissions but they didn't last long because they were not in line with the direction of the company..
I was a partner and a shareholder but I wasn't the one pumping the money hence I lacked the quorum to speak up.. My contribution was in charge of sales and marketing and in lieu of salary, and for the next 18 months, I worked tirelessly without taking a cent but the company was bleeding money every month..
Soon, I began to exhaust my savings - I still have monthly bills to pay, I still need to eat, I still need to commute to work.. I even had to sue my previous employer for hanging me out to dry in March 2020 on the onset of the MCO..
But I was using up my rainy day savings..
For 18 months, we couldn't take the company to where it should have been.. We tried to penetrate other regions and markets only to have doors slammed on us..
After 18 months, at the end of 2021, I called it quits.. I could no longer sustain without an income - I was down to the last RM5k or so and it would have took me some time to get a job.. I settled for any job that pays within my experience and the range I was comfortable with..
I didn't even last in that job for 2 months because I went in with the big hopes of turning around the company but every proposal I gave was shot down and every weekly management meeting, all of us department heads were gunned - it was a simple Chinaman family business with the one-lord-wins-all mentality, no one else was allowed to question or speak..
I left, despite having depleted my savings, I just left without a job..
Me reflecting on those times - whenever I hear people say how one should have 24 months of rainy day savings, I go like, dude, you don't know what I went through.. Try taking no salary for 18 months and keeping all your monthly bills, installments, payments all intact - then tell me I should save up..
I am now slowly but painfully building back what I lost..
My family runs a FMCG wholesale trading business and we control and have the exclusive rights to the wholesale distribution in one region, supplying to FMCG retails, but I am not one who runs back and join the family business.. Heck, I have never even step foot into the company, what more take over..
Don't watch too much TV drama, it doesn't work that way..
Today I'd just like to share something from PADI's blog - Ocean Pride, because diving is an inclusive activity and there is certainly no room for discrimination of any kind here.
--------- below article is the original post ---------
Scuba Diving is the passion millions of people around the globe. All with one thing in common, a love of the underwater world.
In today’s society, health, fitness and wellbeing plays an important part in daily life for many people. Sport, in particular recreational sport, being an outlet for stress and improving mental health. As divers we experience calm and serenity every time we descend beneath the surface and is one of the factors which keeps us coming back for more.
Hand in hand with health and wellbeing is diversity and inclusion. Part of being in a healthy state of mind is being comfortable in your surroundings and being accepted for who you are regardless of gender, race, religion, age, disability or sexual orientation. Many business and sporting organisations are now looking at how they can attract more people into sport from a range of backgrounds and ethnicities.
The average percentage of the global population identifying as LGBTQ+ is 2.2%. This would suggest there is the same percentage of divers worldwide who identify as LGBTQ+.
It’s not about how you identify; it’s about seeing sport and sporting environments as ‘safe spaces’ and somewhere to feel comfortable and at ease. The dive boat is one of those places. People from a diverse range of back grounds and nationalities gather daily on dive boats around the world without judgement or second though of what someone’s sexual preference may be.
PADI Diving Instructor, Heather McCloskey, still considers completing her PADI Open Water Diver course as her most exhilarating experience. She shares, “It marked the end of a time period where my anxiety and stress levels controlled me, not the other way around. It was a very stressful time in my life where I felt that few things were under my control. When I discovered how quiet and peaceful it is as soon as you leave the surface, I was hooked.”
“It was such a moving and empowering experience for me that I immediately knew I wanted to become an instructor and spend the rest of my life bringing this joy and freedom to others,” McCloskey, a member of the LGBTQ+ continues. “Everyone can benefit from scuba diving in some way and it’s so rewarding to be able to give people that gift. Diving is an incredible opportunity to not only see some really cool things and travel to some amazing places but also be exposed to folks of all walks of life. Few sports bring together people with as broad an array of life experience, cultures, mindsets, and geographies the way diving does.”
To attract new divers from the LGBTQ+ community, it’s important that dive centres and operators continue to be open-minded and inclusive. Throughout life, people will try as many as nine different sports before they decide on which one provides them with the most enjoyment and best fits their lifestyle.
How people choose their sport, whether this be professional or recreational, is often down to how included they feel participating in that sport and what role models are visible to them. This principle is often referred to as the mirror effect, ‘can I see someone like me in the sport’, ‘does the sport portray itself as open and inclusive’. This is not unique to the LGBTQ+ community and applies to everyone regardless of gender, race, religion, age or disability.
PADI Divemaster, Bruce Pearson is openly gay and assists with the pool sessions at his local dive shop. “The husband and wife who own the dive shop are very welcoming and comfortable with me being ‘out’ as a gay man in the workplace. The husband even commented that he’s learned a lot from being around me, which I’m grateful that I can provide a positive image to him and others and show others we are all equal and similar as humans. Being a positive LGBTQ+ role model is important as often I am one of the first people that new divers meet when embarking on their education. It would be great to think that I have a positive influence on their life journey as well.”
“I would recommend any LGBTQ+ person getting into diving to try and find a shop that’s open and welcoming, and if possible, check any local groups/social media for any recommendations they’ve had positive or negative.”
Club activity is a proven way to engage new and certified divers and provide an environment for continuing education. In the UK, the Gay and Lesbian Underwater Group (GLUG) was founded to deliver a safe, friendly, inclusive and supportive environment for all LGBTQ+ divers, their partners, family and friends. They organise dive trips in both the UK and Europe as well as hold social and educational events.
Chairman of the GLUG committee, Mark Vowels quotes the club philosophy as “Aiming to eradicate the ‘macho’ image associated with diving and provide dive trips and events which encourage members to improve their dive skills at their own pace. GLUG strives to meet the needs of our less-able or physically challenged members, whilst always ensuring their safety and that of other divers.”
Barnacle Busters is an LGBTQ+ diving club based in Los Angeles, California, USA since 1989. Founding member R.A. Buck recalls the first club meeting was well attended by sixty people with a mix of men and women, some certified and others just interested in learning to dive. Since then, they have certified over 1000 LGBTQ+ divers.
For R.A. Buck himself, within two months of the first club meeting, aged 45, he was having so much fun and felt so comfortable in his surrounding that he felt it was time to come out to friends and family. “The dive club changed my life profoundly, and for the better.”
Travel is synonymous with diving and is the perfect way to experience what our planet has to offer. Greg Hamman, owner of LGBTQ+ dive travel company, Undersea Expeditions, saw potential in the LGBTQ+ market and organises LGBTQ+ vacations around the world is places such as the Philippines, Australia, Europe, Egypt, Caribbean and the islands of the Pacific Ocean. “Our divers trust us to take them to the best locations at the right time of year, and to use the best dive operations available. They can count on a fun, accepting group of like-minded LGBTQ+ divers and our friends. People who share our values and our sense of humour.”
“Most of our divers are gay men in their 30s to 50s, usually about 60% of them traveling solo. Many lesbian divers also enjoy traveling with us, either in a mixed LGBTQ+ group or on one of our twice a year For Women Only vacations. Of course, trans, bi, and queer divers are all welcome as well, as well as allied friends,” says Hamman.
There are however some countries with incredible dive sites that still do not recognise same sex relationships. One such country is Egypt, which is home to the diving mecca that is the Red Sea. Attitudes towards LGBTQ+ people in Egypt have not been in line with their western counterparts with many choosing not to travel there.
In the tourist areas of Sharm el Sheikh, Dahab, Marsa Alam and Hurghada, it is a brighter picture. LGBTQ+ divers can enjoy mesmerising marine life and historic wrecks in a safe environment. Liveaboards are a popular choice, however there are many dive centres operating out of popular hotels that are equally as welcoming. My husband and I are halfway through our PADI Divemaster course with PADI Instructor, Abdo Elhabashy of Master Diving Centre in Hurghada. We have completed several PADI specialties with Abdo and had many fun and enjoyable times with the local boat crews who treat everyone the same.
As with any travel, it is advisable to remain cautious and have respect for local customs.
Being visible and promoting the all-round benefits of diving is an essential tool in recruiting new divers. Doug McGrath explains his experience of finding his LGBTQ+ diving community, “I didn’t know LGBTQ+ dive clubs existed until I walked by the Northern California Rainbow Divers stall at Gay Pride. Being part of a club wasn’t something I had ever thought about, but I signed up on the spot.”
“New friends, dive buddies, trips, learning from others… I got all of those things from the club experience, but at the time, I don’t think I could’ve articulated why I was so excited to stumble across them,” adds McGrath. “As it turned out, joining the club was the push that I needed to get certified. Instead of just thinking about what diving might be like and wondering how difficult it was to learn and do, suddenly I had these connections and resources that took a lot of the mystery out of the process.”
In the USA, NOAA’s Office of National Marine Sanctuaries and Pride Outside combine the celebration of Ocean month and LGBTQ+ Pride month throughout June with the #PrideInTheOcean campaign. The aim is to raise awareness that the ocean is for everyone, and we must take pride in our blue planet. Kate Sutter, Science Communicator, worked as a diver on Google’s Underwater Street View and found new and non-traditional ways to share reefs with those unable to dive themselves. “I am just as proud of being part of the queer community and working with people on the #PrideInTheOcean campaign who are as passionate about the ocean as I am,” says Sutter.
Pride months takes place around the world each year throughout June. Not only is it a celebration of LGBTQ+ culture and inclusivity but plays a vital part in educating the wider community on important issues and why inclusivity is so important to each and every one of us.
At the rate I am going, I will log another 30 dives until the end of the year, which means I will cross my 100th dive soon..
As "tradition" has it, every diver probably heard of the naked 100th dive.. In fact, I have actually planned my 100th dive in 2024, either in Green Island in Taiwan or Koh Tao in Thailand, both places of which allows for diving naked..
But due to my Divemaster trainings and trips I've booked in for this year, I am logging my dives quicker than I thought, I will end 2023 with a hundred plus dives, all locally in Malaysia, which means my naked dive have to wait till next year at the earliest..
AND yes, I planned to go all out all, fully nude on that dive - because why not?
Today, the Transport Minister have announced the digitalisation of private vehicle road tax and driving licence..
This I feel is a damn overdue thing and needs to have been done long ago! But Anthony Loke made it happen..
Gone are the days of the stupid low quality roadtax stickers that either got permanently stuck on the windscreen or that they curl up and folded like keropok..
There is also no need to carry the physical licence card anymore..
I noticed this already automatically enabled in my mySikap JPJ login when I was checking my profile recently following a road accident last week.. I realised I already have the digital roadtax and digital licence, so it's all good..
No need for separate registration, you just need to register at the JPJ mySIKAP portal..
Once you register and on the portal, go to the login page.
Next, go to KENDERAAN and then SENARAI KENDERAAN. Note this is only for the owners. If you are just a driver, you will not have anything to see.
A list of your owned vehicles will be displayed here.. clicked on it, and this is your digital roadtax.. The QR code is for JPJ officers to scan..
For license, just go to LESEN MEMANDU tab and click on MAKLUMAT LESEN and then select LESEN MEMANDU KOMPETEN, your driving license will be displayed..
At writing time, the myJPJ app is sluggish and keep time out.. so I am unable to provide the screenshot, but if you do get it, these information in on your PROFIL tab at the bottom right corner, but you need to manually key in the number plate..
Hahaha... Celebrated my 40th at Shangri-la Hotel Kuala Lumpur in an upgraded Suite room, many thanks to Shangri-la Hotel Kuala Lumpur.. Shangri-la KL is also very kind to throw in some birthday goodies..
Check in was in the Horizon Lounge with welcome drink.. Very smooth, friendly and courteous staff.. With access to the Lounge, our meals, evening tea and cocktails were all in the Lounge..
I did not have anything special lined up, just wanted a smooth quiet getaway for the weekend after the CNY madness..
I don't know, but I feel Shangri-la KL rooms are a little dated and very "woody"..
As I began my first day of work after the CNY break, I was greeted by a BANG, literally.. I was hit from the back by a Toyota Yaris driven by a late 40s lady on her way to the gym during the morning rush hour..
It was a pure wrong place-wrong time as I would not normally use this road..
I have reviewed the dashcam again and again and I still believed the accident was unavoidable.. At the speed of 20-30kph which I believe she was doing, she wouldn't brake in time as well..
The morning rush hour traffic was heavy, but it was moving at a slow 20-30kph pace - otherwise it could have been worse..
After the initial shock, we got down and checked on our cars.. The car in front did not appear to have any damage at all, with only my front number plate broke.. So the driver just shrugged it off and left, leaving me and the other lady to deal with the accident..
We pulled aside off the main road and exchanged contact information.. She was pretty apologetic but visibly shaken.. I was shaken as well, but I knew what I had to do - snapped a few photographs and got her personal details.. I told her there is no way we could settle this so we will need to claim from insurance - her insurance..
She was not too delighted, I later found out that her NCB was at the max 55% and hence that's why she was reluctant to claim insurance, but with the damage to my car, I doubt she could compensate.. I told her I am still going to the police and report the accident for insurance claim..
She left the scene afterwards and made the police report in the afternoon.. I too went to the same police station a while later in the afternoon..
Her Yaris, well at first look, not much damage, except a broken fog lamp, grill, number plate and fender, but later upon inspecting the photographs, I realised her bonet moved and looks out of place at the joints, which clearly meant her car body took a bad hit.. In my mind, "lady, are you sure you want to pay for the repairs for both cars out of pocket, you should thank me for insisting on claiming for insurance".
It was a long wait as I have to wait for the investigating officer to get my statement after filing the report and then wait for the cameraman to photograph the damage..
All in all, it was about 3 hours later that I managed to get this done, and left for home at 6pm..
By the looks of damage and the process of accident claims in Malaysia, I will be without my car for at least 4 weeks..
My car was damaged in the rear fender, bumper, trunk cover, back panel and I suspected the exhaust pipe also bore the impact as now I drive around with a muffler.. And I think I am not able to open the boot because it was smashed jammed into the car body.. I scared if I open it, I cant close it as clearly the alignment of the hook is out..
So yeah, that was how the new year began with a BANG.
Calling myself a PADI Divemaster trainee , since I have signed up for the course.
The best part is there is no minimum or maximum time to complete it, but I aimed to finish it within this year, I will give myself 9 months before the diving season ends.
Will officially began my training the first weekend after CNY.
So firstly, I would like to wish you guys a very Happy New Year 2023!
I spent the New Year's holiday with my boyfriend in Thailand, in Phuket and around the Andaman islands. Our real first overseas trip together, and I also got him into the water to try out diving with me.
We flew into Krabi for an early morning ferry into Phi Phi Islands the next day.. Stayed in Panmanee Hotel in Phi Phi, which is a short 3 minutes walk from Ton Sai Pier, and done a half day snorkelling and island hopping excursions to the nearby islands.. The hotel itself looks quite new and located smack in the middle of madness but yet quiet and tucked away enough for a good sleep..
We also checked out the main thoroughfare of Phi Phi and the Long Dalum Bay beach over the other side - it's such a beautiful insta-worthy spot.. Definitely need more time in Phi Phi the next time..
In Phuket, we stayed very closed to Bangla Road along Patong Beach but on a secluded hotel away from the main road, a short 5 minutes walk away, yet quiet and off the grid..
We dove with Super Divers Phuket, and I have to give credit where it's due, it's SUPERB.. If you want to go diving in Phuket, do check Super Divers out, they are very friendly, responsive and the prices are also very competitive, but the point is, you are in good hands..
I will write more about the trip later, till then!
