Why I cannot backpack.

Backpacking has been the norm of young adults travel these days.. With the mushrooming of youth hostels, backpackers hostels, pods among others all over the world, it is undeniably changing the way youth travels..

However, here's a problem.. Not everyone can backpack and backpacking is not for everyone.. I am not saying from the psychological point of view, where sharing is a choice rather than a want.. I really don't mind sharing sleeping space, but my problem is, my claustrophobia..

When I travel, I almost always stay in hotels, not because of affordability, but because I cannot stay in hostels/pod/backpackers hostel. It's fine to be in a single room in a 1/2/3 star motel/inn, but it's another thing altogether to be actually in a bunk bed..

Thanks to my work - I can get better and always cheaper rates for myself to stay in higher stars hotels in comfort.. Something I appreciates!

I thought I would risk it when planning for my Sydney trip as initially I have no place to stay and my only option was YHA.. thankfully my dear friend offered (love ya Lio!) and saved me..

Claustrophobia is the fear of tight spaces or a fear or restriction, or both.. In my case, I have both, though varying in degree depending on the condition where I am in..

Things I find myself very uncomfortable in, often resulting in a panic attack:

• bunk bed (both upper and lower)
• I become very restless and cannot sleep at all if I get a bunk bed, as proven during my university days staying in the campus hostel. I had to move my mattress and sleep on the floor.
• berth (both upper and lower) 
• Confined sleeping space makes me anxious
• capsule/pod
• For the same reason
• MRI/CT scanners 
• My heartbeat shot up irregularly high when I had to undergo a CT brain scan last year. Definitely not a pleasant experience for me. 
• cave
• Feels like a horror movie scene to me, I always have this fear the cave will collapse on me despite knowing the cave hole has been there for millions of years.. 
• tunnel 
• The time I decided to conquer and crawl through Cu-Chi Tunnel in Vietnam proves my claustrophobia is stronger than I thought.. I was almost in tears when I finally reach the first exit hole and in a waterfall of sweat, and that also because there's just too many people in the tunnel. 
• waiting in line (in a shop)
• I will become very anxious and get agitated mostly (very fine example: mini market! That's the reason why if I can help it, I will never shop in a mini market even if the price is cheaper - it's not worth my anxiety!)
• escalators (covered, in tube form)
• Two very good example: Central Escalator in Hong Kong and First World Hotel going up to Genting Hotel that few escalators. Immediate onset of giddyness and shortness of breath.. Hence, I take the staircase :)

Claustrophobia is thought to be caused by past experiences, which for me, stemmed mainly as a result of getting separated from parents in a large crowd (actually it's because due to my nature of loving to wander around and then wander off, or that I am too engrossed into something I totally shut the world out) on many occasions, and getting my head stuck in between iron bars/fences and can't escape..

I have plenty of stories my mom tells us how we were as kids, and getting lost was one of my usual game.. so much so my mom ended up telling me I was picked up from the dustbin....

wahpiang eh...

Anyway - back to my claustrophobia, that is why I chose a platform bedframe for my home to give me more breathing space when I sleep, and I never opt for bunk beds when travelling with friends and staying in a hostel, my friends understand my situation and always would give me the single bed..

Either that or I sleep sitting up such as in overnight trains (I really don't mind that)..

Now.. question:
Can I sleep in tents?
Answer: Yes and no. It depends on the tent whether or not it has a "window" or mesh openings.

Do I get panic attack in elevators?
Answer: I do, but it's very, very mild. I always keep myself occupied by playing with my phone, fidget with something in my pocket (coins, keys, cables etc), looking at something that's moving (such as floor numbers), or I sing however horrible I sound if I am alone..

What about cars?
Answer: No, cos cars have windows and it doesn't count as a confined space.

Plane?
Answer: No, cos I'm not sitting in the lavatory all through the flight. Whenever possible, I always opt for an aisle seat so that I can move around without disturbing others, unless it's the first row, then I'll opt for window seat, I don't care about the TV actually, I have my iPad with me when I travel..

Office cubicle?
Answer: Depends, those that are high partitions with overhead shelves/cabinets are a no-no, unfortunately, thank goodness most modern offices are moving into open spaces..

Steam room?
Answer: NO, how long can one stay in the steam room anyway?

Bitching is a skill.. so is moaning..

Yes you heard me right.. Not everyone can bitch..

Some are born with it, some learn and learn and yet still sound so unnatural.. Bitching is a skill, it's acquired mostly..

The moment you start commenting about everything and anything., that's bitching already.. I find it natural and when I hate something so much, I can just spend hours on ends non stop talking and commenting about it..

Or I just rolled my eyes so much I swear they will eventually fall out one day..

Bitching, moaning, whining - it keeps me young and keeps the mind flowing with creative ways of mincing words..

Do you bitch?

16 Truths You Learn After Realizing You Don’t Have To Please Everyone

I swipe this from: http://elitedaily.com/life/motivation/realizing-you-dont-have-to-please-everyone/839432/ with my own version.. 

1. It's literally impossible to keep everyone pleased. 
Why would I want to please everyone? You like me, fine, we get along well. You don't like me, fine too, cos I am not born to please you.

2. Everybody and their mother has an opinion.
Can't agree more. Everyone wants to say something about everything..

3. Opinions are just that - opinions.
Do they matter? Hell not of course, they are just opinions, and it's different from unsolicited advice. Opinions are like engine noises. They are there and the louder they are, the more people will hate it.

4. If it doesn't make you happy, then it isn't worth doing.
Why keep yourself miserable doing the things you don't like? I find it very hard to understand why people are doing things they don't like or love - like a job. If you don't like your job, move on, find something you love doing! Chances are these people are well, pleasing, somebody they're out to impress.

5. More people will kick you on the way up, than will when you're already down.
We're humans.. We get jealous over people's success.. We want to be a bitch and say what we think which doesn't matter anyway..

6. Most people won't help or support you .. so why do you care if they're pleased or not?
Problem is - MANY people around me WILL help me OR support me in one way or another.. But me being me, I don't like to ask for help.. only when people offer, I will accept.. So I have a duty to keep these people pleased hor? Yes - I do sometimes care about how people are pleased with me or not.. I do.. I am human after all.. but to those who doesn't matter to me, I don't give two hoots..

7. We all live in our reality and want to be the star of our show.
Who doesn't want? We want to portray ourselves the best we can.. and by that we are out to impress somebody, someone..

8. Life has a lot more to offer when you play by your own rules.
My rules in life are simple - I don't give a fuck and so should you.. I live my life the way I want it, how I want it.. Like me love me, I am who I am.. This is me.. And because I don't live to please people, I don't need to.. Life is indeed much better that way..

9. Just because you shouldn't please everyone doesn't mean you shouldn't bother to please anyone.
Don't get me wrong - I am all for pleasing the people who matters to me, my family, my mentors - teachers, seniors, superiors etc (in other words: authority), my close friends.. but that's about it.. Because if they becomes displeased with me, then I have a problem.

10. When you aren’t worried about what everyone else thinks, it’s a lot easier to focus on the things that actually matter.
No need to worry about what other people things makes it less one thing to think and worry about, can't be any more straight-forward than that.

11. People like to hate; it's just a favourite pastime.
Haters will be haters.. People hate because they can't be who you are, they can't achieve what you have, and they are jealous, then they get resentful, then all these negativity grows into hate.. I am right to say - many people hate me too, for God knows what reasons, or no reasons at all.

12. It’s a lot easier to succeed when you don’t give a shit what other people think. Just do what you do because it seems to be working.
If you have something to say, say it to my face.. If I find you have a point and can help me progress, I will listen and take note of it, if not then I don't give another hoot because empty vessels makes the most noise..

13. Most people like to talk about things as if they know what they’re talking about, when, in fact, they are clueless.
To the point that even those who know shit will also want to open their mouths.. Hence, that's why these days many of us prefer to have conversations with intellectual-sound people..

14. Most people simply don't matter. 
They don't matter when their existence and opinions are of no effect whatsoever in relation to your existence.. It will not throw your balance off whether or not they are in your life.. Cos they simply don't matter..

15. Your life is better when you remove poisonous individuals.
Bad influencers - people who want to see the world, our world, burn..

16. Those who truly love you and care about you will always be please when you're simply being yourself. 
I am who I am, simply because this is me.. Love me hate me, I am just being myself.

According to Tripadvisor....

According to Tripadvisor (of course, data is only as good as what I feed it), I've been to 165 cities in 17 countries..

Hmm.. And it doesn't even count domestic Malaysia and the distances between KL and Singapore cos I don't review and put Singapore anymore into my Tripadvisor, cos it's an oh-so-often trip that needs no review from me..

Glad to note that my reviews are note-worthy to earn that many helpful votes.. Let's hope 2015 I will be able to bring those numbers even higher! LOL... 

It's a white Christmas..

I just finished setting up my Christmas tree.. it's white...

And I chosen to deck it with shades of blue ornaments and blue lights..

Chances are I'll be likely to spend Christmas (and New Year's Eve) alone.. so... No invites, no parties, no dinners.. oh well, I guess I'll just disappear or I'll just cook myself some hearty lamb and pair it with a good bottle of wine..

Life.

Oh well.