Wishful thinking. Really.

I tried to kiss him tonight when I saw him but after a while he broke the kiss and pushed me away.. I knew tonight was going to be a long night.. 

I will surely miss his strangling hug.. 

And all the times we've spent together in the past year.. 

I have my answer tonight.. I didn't press him for an answer but he's here to tell me honestly he wasn't ready to go anymore deeper.. He knew what I was coming onto.. 

I missed him so much and told him I needed to see him.. Had him finally over tonight and we really talked our hearts out.. 

We rarely talk like this but when there's important things, phones aside, tv aside and we just talked.. 

I don't know how things will change but it will surely change.. I have to stop treating him like a boyfriend and start treating him like a friend.. To him, there was never a relationship to begin with, it was a messed up friendship that went a little too far, things that you don't do with friends.. 

And that confused me.. I needed to know, and I knew now.. 

Thank you for the one year making me happy, I was truly happy even with all the times when I was angry, it was not without love.. My affection has then grew into something more than just friends.. 

I love you. 

Somehow.. It grew on me.. 

But I needed to know where we stand and thanks for making it clear.. 

Happy Together

I spent the last 2 days watching "Happy Together" on Youtube.. it's about a gay couple, a straight couple and 2 very good gal friends living in the same house, set in Taiwan.. From watching this, no wonder I can be emo.. cos I can feel the characters...

What struck me the most is the character Benny, played by 陳景煬 Jumper, the flirty one.. Not only is he cute, the character life story is what I can relate the most.. and he loves to gym and end his workout with a cold beer.. For me, I love to gym, and end my workout with some cold energy drink..

From a young age of 17, I was already playing the fool.. and like what Benny's boyfriend Alex says, "sleep with anyone".. Well, that's me..

I mean, that was my past..

Alex & Benny

One of the scenes.. this is in Episode 8..

Here's the full English sub Youtube playlist..
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLG6g2KlEnVXWcNs-ti_E1f2-B8Ruq2VcZ

Happy Chap Goh Meh

The end of Chinese New Year is here.. After 15 days of eating and eating and feasting, it's now time to get back to gym and continue the wishful 2016 resolutions..

Angpow aside (not too bad), I also won several last consolation prizes in Big Sweep, Damacai and Grand Toto.. Not much but I'm not complaining because every wealth luck is perfectly welcoming, especially since I gave away some in Genting on the 8th day.. 

So if you're looking to "pao kam" (throw orange into the lake/river), I wish you will find someone.. Hope it's not the bangla who will be cleaning up the waters when the day break..

Else, you can always go for Collision speed dating event (for gay men only lor) and who knows, you will have a better chance of meeting someone you fancy and who fancy you but not straight into bed on the first time (I strongly believe one should not start a relationship based on sex and sex is not everything about the relationship, it cannot be the only thing that defines it, you know what I mean?)

Happy Chap Goh Meh!

Dating like how it used to be

Remember your first date/boyfriend?

I do.. Because my first boyfriend was a jerk.. So was my second.. I was being unfair to my third boyfriend, and my fourth and fifth ones basically had lives outside of the relationship.. In between all those times, I've gone on dates after dates, ONS after ONS thanks to the advancement of technology and dating apps..

Dating now seems like a race against time, all it takes is just "hi", "meet", "top/bottom" and there you go.. Gone are the days where you sheepishly harbour crushes on people you know or barely know, friends of friends, or just some random hot guy in that party..

When I was younger, I used to have these kind of crushes as well towards random guys at parties, and then my friends would play the evil guy and introduced.. but nah, we remained friends but nothing took off because it didn't feel right..

Dating has to begin right.

Instagramers Patoetto & his boyfriend Sleepdrunk
I follow their Instagram because they are so loving and lovely, it gives
me hope that gay relationships have a future..
plus they are too cute and has hot-to-die-for bodies..

Well, maybe things like that still happen, only that it has become such a rarity that one forgot to slow down and actually enjoy the process of getting to know one another..

Truth be told, my current boyfriend (are we even boyfriends yet? I don't know but we do act like one - a couple, and exclusive) and I met on one such dating-app which I shall not name..

Initially it was a simple "hi".. but I took ages to reply because I wasn't looking to date.. So one reply begets another over a long period of time, before we actually met up for coffee.. and slowly got to know each other better.. I like him, he likes me.. and soon we're staying overnight at each other's place and gone on several staycations..

It's a really slow process, because from the first "hi" to today, it's almost one year.. but we're still learning and getting to know each other.. Hence, I said, I am not sure if we're considered together? Haha.. I called him my boyfie.. but he's too shy to admit anything..

Yeah, that's us taking it reeeeaaalllllyyyy slow...

*****

In today's age and technology, what would you give to actually enjoy the real process of dating err I mean, socializing? And getting to know not just one, not just 2, but 19 other guys in a safe and discreet environment? Everyone there has one purpose, but yet everyone there is unique and diverse in terms of age, ethnic group, profession down to hair colour!

Sorry, if sex is all you're after, this is not for you.. Move on.. We have all the yellow and orange apps  and what-other-colour-apps specifically for "fun"..

Err nope, this is not speed dating :)
But there's no stopping you from having some quiet time AFTER all is over..

With 19 guys all in for one reason, I am sure one of them will surely fits most or some of your "criteria" if not all.. If you still don't find someone, don't worry, you can either try again or lower down your expectations/standards! :)

So how do you get to know all 19 guys in just one evening?

Simple, it's called speed dating.. 20 guys, 5 minutes each.. All in one fun session.. Shy and quiet? Don't worry, there'll be games and ice-breakers to ensure everyone is comfortable and before you know it, you can't wait to actually get to know these guys, or perhaps by then you'd already have someone in mind to "target"..

The next session of this event is actually coming up soon..

Here's the details:
What: Collision Speed Dating (for gay men, of course)
When: 20 February, 7pm
Where: The Albion, Changkat Bukit Bintang, KL (1st Floor - private event; maximum privacy!)
How much: RM60 (inclusive of food! Non-halal but no pork, don't worry)

Interested? Register HERE now!



Who knows, maybe you will find your true love... boyfriend... here.. Then I won't mind you giving me the credit that I told you about this hahaha..

Good luck, and hey, gay relationships do exist, and they do last, so don't give up hope just yet okay? Try going for this event, and who knows, it might just change your life!

Peace out!
xoxo mucks...

NOT SAFE FOR WORK: Almost Naked

Well, as promised.. some not-safe-for-work pics.. haha due to restriction, must censored :)

Plenty of opportunities for selfies because there's a lot of flat surfaces everywhere and every corner.. thanks to the self timer on my iPhone, I just can't stop taking tonnes of pictures.. and for like 1 which I saved, I deleted plenty others.. hahah.. don't judge me, I put on a little weight..

And this... Happy Valentine's Day!! 

Opps....